Monday, October 25, 2010

When You're Gone

For once I wish I could be sorry
For once I wish you remembered me
If only time was slowly moving
If only you did not retreat
Who can I tell my secrets to now
Who is the person by my side
Yes that was you once indeed it was
Yes that was you when love was kind
Now you're a dream of little impact
Now I can't even speak your name
Who am I kidding, its harder now friend
Who am I kidding, to you I'm dead
I wish I could say the same about you
I wish I could act like you're not mine
But this is how I feel my lover
This is how I feel......When You're Gone

Monday, October 18, 2010

Broken and Still Alive

Covered with scratches and tears
Bandaids don't fix this
Hurt and pained but its just another cut
My heart doesn't hurt anymore

The scars on my wrists are just memories
Each cut forgotten, each memory lost
Ruined from within and smiling still
Broken and still alive.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Forever and a Day (in Progress)

I lay on the bed stripped of my clothing, staring at the ceiling. The sheets were damp and covered in blood. My mouth stood slightly open and I could taste the watered down salt that flowed from my eyes.
The camera across the room still stared down at me. People watched my chained down body through the next room their eyes glowed from the glass window. Men stood around the walls in the same room as me. They murmured and laughed at how soft and weak my body was.
My hair was spread across the chains that held me to the hospital bed within the dark room. I closed my eyes hoping it would all go away but instead I saw the events that brought me into the painful hold.

Last night was supposed to be a night to remember. My fake ID and my provocative clothes were so new to my standards. The club was just another club and it wasn't all that intriguing but it was my first. A tall sexy man wrapped around me as I danced, and he smiled as he watched me. Soon after he had taken me to this room that I now lay and stripped me down to the embarrassment of my existence, and he told me that he would give me two grand if I showed off my body for him.
It was late and I had already had a few drinks up my sleeve and it didn't seem all that harmful but it wasn't long after I crawled on top of him that I was chained down and consumed by his violence and torment. I didn't feel it, I hadn't wanted to and I forced myself to scream in rejection to his acts but it didn't help.
Men wanted the screams they enjoyed the rejection to their glory and pride, it turned them on in a way. This male characteristic was disgusting but I was forced to feel four men's pleasured eyes on me as they watched this man soak me in. I had to hold still as my dignity was stripped from me like the clothes that now lay on the floor.